Belonging (Random rambling)

To belong: to have the proper qualifications, especially social qualifications, to be a member of a group.

When you wander out into that big world, what are you searching for? What do you hope you will find? Are you actively seeking it out, or trusting that you will simply stumble upon it? When you find it, will you be happy? Will you feel fulfilled?

One thing I've learned- no matter what you do or where you go, everything has slightly less shine if you're alone. Humans were not made to be solitary creatures. That is why our very souls crave companionship. Our hearts ache for the feeling that comes with being truly accepted; being in the right place with the right people. And when you miss the mark, it can be heartbreaking.

One of the toughest things in life is finding your "people." You know, the "people" you always hear about, the ones who love you unconditionally and "always have your back." The ones who "really get" you. You can surround yourself with lots of people, but if they're not the right ones, everything feels just a bit off. You make a joke no one laughs at; you believe something that others strongly oppose; you'd never do something that others regularly practice... Sometimes you find yourself in a crowd and realize you're "the only one."

I'm not saying it's not okay to be different. Differences are a beautiful thing. But if you haven't found that place where you belong, the differences only serve to make hope seem farther away. When you belong somewhere, you have an opportunity to build trust and community. Without those things, you are vulnerable to all the woes of the world.

All it takes is one smile, one laugh, one nod of approval to shift the way you see the world and yourself. I would encourage everyone to notice your surroundings. Be more aware of the affect you have on others. Don't blunder through life oblivious to the fact that you are making a difference- although positive or negative is up to you. I'm sure you've felt like the odd man out at some point, but if not, try to imagine. Give smiles. Laugh at an awkward joke. Make an effort.

And please, pardon my randomness.
Live and love,
Katey ❤️

Isaiah 14:27

Summertime Blues

So, I have been "home" for a week now. I cannot deny that it feels amazing to be back in North Carolina, so close to my friends and family. I think that my time away only served to deepen my already profound love for the beautiful things God created. I missed the trees and lush green grass of summertime. I am enjoying wearing shorts again (a little too chilly down there in the Southern hemisphere for them). I can understand background conversations again- which is nice, but I do sort of miss the anonymity I felt... or I guess it would be more appropriate to say a sense of solitude. Everyone knows I love to talk, but sometimes it's kind of nice to be in your own little world.

When my dad picked me up from the airport, it felt like no time had passed.  My sister made a big "welcome home/happy birthday" sign that he brought and, as I approached, people noticed and wished me a happy birthday. I couldn't help but find the whole situation very endearing. I could feel the love. We got my luggage and for the first time in two months, I got to drive my car. Driving has always been one of my favorite things to do, especially when good music and good company are involved. I stopped by my apartment to pick up a few things (really I just mostly wanted to see it again), grabbed some lunch, then headed to Stoneville. I got to hug everyone and then was whisked off on an adventure involving puppies and a secret surprise.

The next morning, I went with my sister to Raleigh to help her move into her new apartment. Luckily, we didn't have to move any furniture in, so the whole process was fairly quick and easy. That night, I proceeded to the home of the family I was going to be nannying for. My week involved nannying two adorable children (from one of my favorite families) and catching up with dear friends. It was refreshing to be in the company of people I know so well. Even when distances and circumstances separate you, coming home to your best friend just sets you at ease. That old, familiar relationship is so comforting.

Saturday, I got to travel to an amazing concert (NEEDTOBREATHE) with fabulous friends- for FREE, I might add (thank you Liberty University) and Sunday I finally got to head back to Daystar Church. It felt amazing to be there, surrounded by the amazing people who attend and the atmosphere of love. By some miracle, I even ran into some of the girls from my LIFE group (which is rare considering everyone's schedules). My church family has meant so much to me, especially this past year. Sunday evening, I also got to attend the last night of revival, which was held at Mt. Zion Baptist Church. The goal was to break down racial barriers within the church and the message was powerful.

Today, I attended a MEC (Mining and Energy Commission) meeting with my dad to spread awareness and speak out against the practice of fracking in North Carolina. Since the state has already made it legal, this was an opportunity for citizens to raise their concerns and make suggestions for safety regulations and practices.

Needless to say, I've been busy since I've been back. But despite all the changes I've been experiencing, and all the new and exciting things to come, I feel at peace. I've learned (or maybe re-learned) that you can't make everyone happy, but that's okay. God has given me something to work with.


Live and love <3
Katey


Isaiah 14:27

The Wait Game

Do airports get anyone else down? They're not depressing, necessarily, but when you're anxious or excited to get somewhere, you just want to get there. The anticipation makes the waiting hard to bear.

Last night, there was a continuous stream of earthquakes in Quito. Because of this, many roads were closed and options for travel to the airport were limited. Luckily, we found a taxi driver who was either oblivious to the situation or an extremely kind spirit. He agreed to not only take us, but take us for the normal price. We did, however, have to arrive approximately six hours before our flight. Had I been traveling alone, this may have been the perfect opportunity for me to go crazy. Luckily, another volunteer had the same flight to Miami as me. For almost four hours straight, we played  cards and listened to old music from the 90s/2000s. This made the time pass quickly.

Things are a little different when you're traveling alone. People watching is fun, but how many times can the person sitting across from you catch you staring at them before it gets awkward? Browsing Facebook can kill some time, but how many times can you refresh your news feed with no new updates before you realize the rest of the world is still asleep? Catching up on journal writing is a perfect idea! Until you run the ink out of your pen mid sentence. Maybe all that means this is the perfect time to just have some quiet time with God. There's always a way to put a positive spin on things.

For example, my daddy is coming to pick me up once I finally make it to Greensboro. On a weekend. In the summer. This is unheard of! Luckily my sister is pretty boss and is going to take care of the family business for him. Today promises to offer some delicious American food, family time, missed technology, and a chance to drive my car. It's the little things guys. The little things add up. Sometimes to big things. Sometimes just to a happy moment.

Even though it's not fun to wait in an airport, the moments add up. In the end, there's something waiting. An adventure to be a had. An old friend to see. A father to embrace. Let the moments add up to something.

Live and love ❤️
Katey

Isaiah 14:27

I Feel Home

Yesterday we drove to Quilotoa Lake. From Quito, you drive the same route that would take you back to Riobamba. It's hard for me to believe that I no longer call that city home, and never will again. That sense of familiarity and comfort you feel when you've been away from home and you're finally almost there... That's how I feel when I see the pastures, the cows chewing grass less than a foot from the road, and the snow capped volcanoes. It's a great drive if you need/want to be reminded of how good God is to us :)

Really, it's funny how more than one place can feel like home. We began our journey in Ecuador at a hostel called Kingdom Kichwa. This week, we came back to Kingdom Kichwa and I felt that warm familiarity. At the same time, I can't wait to see the flat farmland in North Carolina that I know and love so well; or to run barefoot through the plush green grass.

Most of what makes a place home are the people, the memories, your emotional attachment. Beauty can be found in the smallest things. That makes sense, right? I can only imagine how different my experience here would have been if my sister or best friend had been with me. Not saying it would have been better (or worse), but that sense of comfort and me I feel when I'm with them may have changed my view on things.

We're traveling as a group this week, all us volunteers. Part of that coming home feeling has to do with the community that we've built. After being tossed into different host family situations, coming back together feels like rejoining your family; even though we spent most of the summer apart. We've all changed and grown because of our experiences, you can see it on our faces. We learned the dangers and challenges of living in Ecuador. We faced those challenges. We learned from those challenges. We are not the timid, uncertain people we were when our flights arrived 8 weeks ago.

I can only hope that life will continue to awe and amaze me. That the simple things, like the way tall grass bends in a breeze, will maintain their beauty. I will continue to grow and change, especially as I am faced with new challenges and experiences. The question is, is my journey nearing an end, or only just beginning? Social America makes me feel like I'm getting too old, running out of time for adventures and solo life experience. I think God knows better.

Live and love❤️
Katey

Isaiah 14:27

Sentimental Aventuras

Today is our last day in Riobamba and I am feeling slightly sentimental. If you've never embarked on a journey where you're completely out of your comfort zone and don't know anyone, then you may not know how good it feels to find community, that sense of belonging, out in the wide world. Then again, you probably do. It seems that sense of loneliness has a tendency to set in even when you're right at home.

Every person I've met here has impacted my life in some way, whether minuscule or major. Despite language barriers, age differences, and cultural differences, I have been not only accepted, but embraced as part of the community here. How sweet it is to find family 2,607 miles from home.

Despite the goodbyes that are to come, we have to make the most of the time we do have. I will be so sad to leave all of these amazing people that I've come to love, but there are still many great things to come. God is not finished showing me adventures yet.

Speaking of adventures...
One weekend, I travelled to Macas, which is in El Oriente (the Amazon). The whole bus ride there, I couldn't take my eyes off of the views. We passed through beautiful countryside with mountains, valleys, rivers, waterfalls and endless charm. We started off the trip with a traditional Ecuadorian food called ayampaco. I can honestly say I don't know what was in it. There were some vegetables and chicken parts (with bones and everything guys, it's a big deal...). It doesn't really matter though, it was delicious.  Then we made a visit to a small zoo. The monkeys were very friendly and the parrots were very creepy.

After the zoo, we climbed into the back of a truck (don't worry, the driver was a relative of our "travel guide") and embarked on an adventure. We didn't know where we were going, but the not knowing made it all the more liberating. I've ridden in the back of my dad's truck at home plenty of times. Summers spent on the tailgate when I was little were normal. But this was different. We stood, wind in our hair, and took in the views. We ended up driving on a long, bumpy, dirt road that wound it's way up a mountain. At the top, there was a large Virgin Mary statue and an observatory. When we looked out, we could see the Upano river, stretching on for miles. We began the drive back down as the sun was setting.

Every adventure is made up of more than just the details of some exciting event. My trip to Macas, the ride in the back of the truck... These are just two events in my adventure. But every road leads somewhere.

Live and love ❤️
Katey


Isaiah 14:27

More of Me

Have you ever done something that you never thought you'd do, only to realize that it's changed you in some way?

No? Well, you should.

This summer has probably been the biggest adventure of my life, and there are only bigger adventures to come!

When I arrived in Ecuador, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't expect to change. I didn't anticipate that I'd want to change. Something about putting yourself out there does change you, though. There are many times I can think of where I didn't do something because I "didn't feel like it" or I was waiting for a better plan to come along. What's the point of waiting? Why spend your time trying to control every aspect of life? There are many, many things out of our control. I think that's kind of the point. We weren't created to be gods of our own lives. That may seem a little extreme, but on a grander scale... It kind of makes sense.

So, learning to let go of the reigns... To stop being so concerned with doing the right thing that will get me to the right place at the right time. This verse has helped me so much: Isaiah 14:27. The basic gist? Nothing can stop God's plan for my life. That means nothing I do can stop Gods plan for my life. Basically, it's fool proof. So why should I be so concerned with making the wrong choice. I'm not talking about sin, just decisions. Maybe it's the way culture is so laid back here, but I've just found it much better to experience life in the moment instead of contemplating the infinite future. No, I haven't gone crazy. I haven't gone wild. I'm still me. Just a little less hung up on the idea that life has to be perfect and the means to that end is me white-knuckling it through life.

For example, this weekend I travelled to Mindo, which is this gorgeous little town in the cloud forest of Ecuador. The buildings in Mindo are made of wood rather than concrete. There's no rebar threatening to take you out. There's one Main Street and it has that comfortable small town feeling that I love. As soon as I stepped off the bus, I fell in love. The whole weekend was an adventure, full of things I'd never done and never thought I'd do. I never imagined I'd travel 8 hours across a foreign country by myself, but I did. And guess what? I survived.

I repelled down a waterfall, zip lined over a cloud forest (can I just take a moment to mention I have no had to sign a single waiver while I've been in this country... Why are Americans so bent on making other people pay? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Just a little observation 😊), went white water tubing with a guide who spent the whole time in the water pushing the tubes left and right.... All of these adventures, the "thrilling" ones, the personal ones, the unrealized ones, have given me a new perspective. Provided me with experiences that have the potential to change my life. God has given me these opportunities for a reason.

I feel like I've gotten a little too deep here, not the usual me, so I apologize for that. I just want so much to express how much this experience means to me and, and... I just have too many feels.

We only have two weeks left in our volunteer program and I can't wait for the rest of my adventures, to see my family, my friends, eat a juicy burger from Hop's Burger Bar... But I'm going to miss this community I've found here. No matter what happens, I know things will never be the same. I'll never be the same. And I'm perfectly content with that.