Great Expectations

I recently stumbled across a note I wrote, inspired by some very wise words. This note, which is at least a year old, sparked something in me. It made me realize that no matter how much you grow and learn, sometimes you're not as smart as you once were. 

"You know when you learn something, and you have that moment of extreme clarity? When you think to yourself 'This will be life changing!' Those times when someone speaks truth right into your situation or circumstances? I had one of those moments of clarity. My bible study leader told me that we should not expect anything from people. Not in a cynical, nobody-will-ever-care-about-me, people suck kinda way. Just that when we rely on God, we don't need to be filled by anyone or anything else. When we get frustrated, disappointed, angry... It's all because that one person didn't say the right thing. They didn't come to the rescue when we needed them. Someone forgot to let you know you were special, in whatever way, and we take it personally. God doesn't want that for us. He wants us to have an abundant life. I'm writing this because I realized I do still think people suck. My heart longs to be pursued, to be treasured, to be cherished. I want someone to call out a beauty in me that I didn't realize was there. I want someone to know my heart and desire to have a place there. But, ultimately, what am I living for? Satisfaction now? Or something eternal? I am fighting- tooth and nail- for a greater glory. Not for myself, but for the only one worth glorifying. Someone who does love and treasure me. Someone who cherishes my heart. Someone who holds me dear. He publicly declared His love for me, and sometimes I have a hard time reciprocating that. I want to be bold; unyielding.  I know that in time, His plans will fall into place, but it won't happen because of anything I do. I am not in control. I can see only a tiny stroke of paint on a vast canvas. God can see the whole picture. He knows what beauty lies ahead. I can't wait to discover it."

My best friend and I have had many conversations over the years about how having expectations for a person or situation can ultimately reduce your satisfaction in that person or situation. 

Dictionary.com defines expectations as "the act or the state of expecting" and to expect as "to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of." 

On a more cynical, and possibly realistic, note, Urban Dictionary defines expectations as "a guaranteed way for you to make sure that people will consistently disappoint you."  

Being human, it is impossible for us to be perfect. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own nuances, backgrounds, personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. that make them who they are. And it is beautiful that we can live in a world with such diversity. There are so many things to appreciate about others. 

Just today, as I was training the new volunteers here in Quito, we were discussing how having a lot of expectations or preconceptions about their time here in Ecuador could ultimately ruin the experience for them. How it is better to take each moment for what it is and forget about what they think is should be. Life just doesn't work that way. We can't always have things exactly as we want. We can't control people. We cannot decide, ultimately, how things will turn out. Keeping that white-knuckle grip on life has the potential to damage the whole experience completely.

I have to remind myself of this almost every day. I want so much from people. To feel loved. To be appreciated. To be recognized for the effort that I put it. To have my feelings and actions reciprocated. And, I must admit, I am quite often let down. My heart is so full of everything I hope for and desire; it's difficult to step back and allow life to be what it is. To remember that we're all human. That not everyone is the same, and that's a beautiful thing. 

Often, I find myself trying to view a situation from someone else's perspective.  I'm sure that I have let down a fair number of people, simply because they expected something from me that I, without realizing, did not give them. I would never want anyone to feel that I wasn't living up to some standard that they set. I am flawed. It is absolutely in my nature. This is something that I cannot change. An irrefutable fact.

I just hope that I can continue to learn this lesson, maybe to the point of mastery, so that I no longer feel the bond of expectation and the pain that comes with disappointment. 


Live and Love <3
Katey



Ephesians 3:20

Embracing the Unknown

"It seems like everywhere I go, the more I see the less I know."

- Michael Franti

I haven’t seen a lot of the world. Just a small corner. I’ve travelled to a few states and one country outside of the U.S. But within these few places, I have seen and learned so much. Each time I learn something new, I realize how much bigger the world is than just my narrow view of it. When I travel, I marvel at the new things I discover and understand how much more there is to learn, how much more the world has to teach me. 

When you travel outside of your comfort zone, you cannot avoid being exposed to new ideas, customs, and culture. I’ve never had a great ability to see things in black and white, only shades of gray. Learning more about the world only makes those shades of gray more varied. Whatever you know as normal, acceptable, or even expected, may not even exist in another part of the world. This isn’t something that should make you uncomfortable, but should be celebrated. The diversity in the world is what makes life so incredible.

The greatest advantage to getting out there in the world  is gaining a new or fresh perspective. Like a picture analyzed too closely, you may not get all of the details if you never take a step back and allow yourself to take in all there is to see.  You have to put yourself outside of what you know. Like when you're working on a riddle you can’t figure out, and suddenly, in the middle of something completely unrelated, the answer comes to you. 

For example, in the Amazon Region of Ecuador, you can encounter many exotic plants and animals. There also tribes of people who live their lives, day to day, tucked away in their corner of the world. They have their own customs and traditions. Some that you may find very strange. When they are welcoming you to their village, they may offer you “chicha masticada,” which is a drink usually made of yuca. Women in the village chew the yuca root and spit the juice into a container. This juice is then offered to guests and it is considered extremely offensive if a guest refuses the drink. 

Another custom that was very different for me when I first arrived in Ecuador was seating at almuerzo, or lunch, restaurants. There are numerous restaurants that offer a basic, fixed menu each day at a very affordable price of $2-4.00. This price typically includes fresh juice, soup, rice, some type of vegetable, a meat, and occasionally a dessert as well. 

As you can imagine, these spots are very popular. If you arrive during a busy time, you may find there are no empty tables. However, instead of waiting for a table to clear, the custom is to join another customer at a table with the appropriate number of empty seats. For example, if you and a friend go out to lunch and there is a couple eating with two empty seats at their table, it is perfectly acceptable to plop down at the table with the simple greeting of buen provecho, which is a similar expression to bon appetite. 

All of these things just teach you the intricacies of human societies and how diverse the world truly is. I love getting out into different areas and being exposed to the world in ways that I haven’t been before.

Another small example: I was recently blessed with the opportunity to visit The Galapagos Islands. It was an expensive trip, but a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Seeing the unique wildlife, pristine beaches and the similarities and differences between the islands and the mainland of Ecuador taught me more than one valuable lesson. Because the islands have fewer inhabitants, there is a distinct small-town feel. In contrast to Quito, people were very friendly… not that Quiteños aren’t friendly, they just aren’t the same type of say-hello-as-you-pass-by friendly. 

There was less traffic, less catcalling, and less crime. As the islands are full of gringos and travelers from across the globe, the culture is much different. People carry their expensive cameras around their necks (in public!) with no fear that they will be robbed. Children play on tablets in the middle of the streets... These are things you would not see in many places in Ecuador, especially in a city like Quito.

Apart from the local culture of the islands, there are also incredible sights to see. I got to swim with sharks, hike on a active volcano, play with sea lions, and take in all of the native animals on the islands. I remember watching a video in my 11th grade FF biology class about Charles Darwin and these Incredible Islands where he discovered so many cool things. Actually stepping foot onto some of those islands felt a little surreal. 

As many amazing things as I experienced, I know there are so many more adventures out there waiting for someone else to grab ahold of them. I’ve allowed this country and it’s people to teach me so much more about the world and myself. I know that as I get older and venture further out into the unknown, I will continue to be awed by the simplicity and complexity of it all.