More of Me

Have you ever done something that you never thought you'd do, only to realize that it's changed you in some way?

No? Well, you should.

This summer has probably been the biggest adventure of my life, and there are only bigger adventures to come!

When I arrived in Ecuador, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't expect to change. I didn't anticipate that I'd want to change. Something about putting yourself out there does change you, though. There are many times I can think of where I didn't do something because I "didn't feel like it" or I was waiting for a better plan to come along. What's the point of waiting? Why spend your time trying to control every aspect of life? There are many, many things out of our control. I think that's kind of the point. We weren't created to be gods of our own lives. That may seem a little extreme, but on a grander scale... It kind of makes sense.

So, learning to let go of the reigns... To stop being so concerned with doing the right thing that will get me to the right place at the right time. This verse has helped me so much: Isaiah 14:27. The basic gist? Nothing can stop God's plan for my life. That means nothing I do can stop Gods plan for my life. Basically, it's fool proof. So why should I be so concerned with making the wrong choice. I'm not talking about sin, just decisions. Maybe it's the way culture is so laid back here, but I've just found it much better to experience life in the moment instead of contemplating the infinite future. No, I haven't gone crazy. I haven't gone wild. I'm still me. Just a little less hung up on the idea that life has to be perfect and the means to that end is me white-knuckling it through life.

For example, this weekend I travelled to Mindo, which is this gorgeous little town in the cloud forest of Ecuador. The buildings in Mindo are made of wood rather than concrete. There's no rebar threatening to take you out. There's one Main Street and it has that comfortable small town feeling that I love. As soon as I stepped off the bus, I fell in love. The whole weekend was an adventure, full of things I'd never done and never thought I'd do. I never imagined I'd travel 8 hours across a foreign country by myself, but I did. And guess what? I survived.

I repelled down a waterfall, zip lined over a cloud forest (can I just take a moment to mention I have no had to sign a single waiver while I've been in this country... Why are Americans so bent on making other people pay? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Just a little observation 😊), went white water tubing with a guide who spent the whole time in the water pushing the tubes left and right.... All of these adventures, the "thrilling" ones, the personal ones, the unrealized ones, have given me a new perspective. Provided me with experiences that have the potential to change my life. God has given me these opportunities for a reason.

I feel like I've gotten a little too deep here, not the usual me, so I apologize for that. I just want so much to express how much this experience means to me and, and... I just have too many feels.

We only have two weeks left in our volunteer program and I can't wait for the rest of my adventures, to see my family, my friends, eat a juicy burger from Hop's Burger Bar... But I'm going to miss this community I've found here. No matter what happens, I know things will never be the same. I'll never be the same. And I'm perfectly content with that.